God W. Dame

God W. Dame is the president of the Imperium of God in Epic Kabingle. He is immortal and omnipotent, effectively a literal God. Players always strive to make a healthy profit so as to please him; failure to do so can have dire consequences. If you lose money, HE WILL KNOW.

In his personal life, God W. Dame is married to Shaquille O'neal's wife and spends most of his free time meditating on the mistakes humanity has made and attempting to find peace with them.

He doesn't actually speak, ever. He just stares at you from behind his badass shades, and you understand. He built his entire empire without speaking a single word. The motherfucker may actually be mute.

Trivia:
 * God W. Dame can smell a single dollar being wasted over 100 kilometers away.
 * He can produce a flame by rubbing two ice cubes together.
 * God W. Dame maintains a brothel/nightclub known as "The P00se". Basically, he's a pimp.
 * His sense of hearing is so fucking acute he can hear sign language.
 * His sunglasses don't protect his eyes from the sun, they protect the sun from his eyes.
 * He is capable of setting a magnifying glass hill on fire with ants. At night.
 * He can build a snowman out of rain.
 * He once heard that nothing could kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it first.