Pokémon Remix (2017)

Reality
The first words uttered by the older brother of Izzy during a lit ass session of Minecraft. The word 'dog' refers to the fat fucker of a dachshund known as "fatty","doog", or "fat dog".

Cancer Lore
Legend has it that on the eve of some day during the year of 2017, these words were sung in an angelic voice known only to be a messenger of God. No one knew exactly what these words meant, but one thing was for sure.

We must defend this dog.

Other than the words and the knowledge of this dogs identity, no one knows much about this remix. The man in question has not been seen in seventeen years and is likely to have changed physical appearance to remain anonymous.

As for the dog, Izzy receives weekly updates on his well-being, making sure that he is, indeed, defended.

One day, this dog will rise to power, overthrowing the American government and making chicken nuggets a basic human right. Until then, he sleeps about 12 hours a day, shits in the house, and eats about 6.3 kilograms of food a minute.